Fear is resilient in our lives it comes back to us over and over even when we think we have beaten it. Fear never really dies it just changes forms and its desire to control us.
For years I have fought fear when I recognized it for what it was. Many times fear disguises itself keepings us from facing it. Now I am ready to challenge myself to stand up and fight fear again as one that was not as recognizable to me.
The battle ground is in my sanctuary my studio. The battle is my fear of failure as an Artist keeping me from realizing the full creative being I am meant to be.
Sometimes we feel like a failure when it comes to our art, we see beautiful inspiring work we copy it we learn from it and we start having visions of our own work, but in our minds OUR reality is that it’s not good enough.
First of all let me say I am my own worst critic. I am trying to learn that even those who appear to be flawless are not they just do a better job of either emphasizing it to appear as deliberate or they distract us so we never notice. Either way that does not change our perception of their excellence. So where does that leave me?
I have ideas, sketches and visions of pieces I wish to create but somehow never start them because I think I don’t know how or where to start. I throw excuses out at will…I don’t have time, I don’t have money, I’m too tired. These are just a few of the excuses that fear has given me.
I studied art at the University level and thrived in the classroom. I loved following my own art dreams but there were, deadlines, focused assignments, mentors and teachers to push me. There was no time to be alone lost in my own head fearing failure.
I even excelled in my studies and won awards. So I know I’m capable and fear has simply slithered in and grabbed hold of my life again.
stay tuned for part 3